Sleep

Hey fellows, I've had a strange last week or so but slowly I'm starting to feel more like myself. I'm not 100% back to how I was but we're on the right track. 

I don't tend to reveal much to do with my personal life and problems on here, it's just something I like to keep separate. With this considered, it is probably fair to assume the vast majority are not aware of the issues I have with regards to sleep. I suffer from a condition called Sleep Paralysis. I'm not going to waste time explaining what it is on here, it's something that has followed me since I was very young. 

The last year had been one of the best in terms of it, I hadn't had an episode in a very long time and things looked up. But for no apparent reason it has run absolutely rampant since I've moved house. It's this that has sent me so around the bend, I'm quite sure. Paired with my cycles of sleep swinging between total insomniac and complete bed-bug, it's been an awful time. I am aware of how awful the episodes will be when the time comes to attempt sleep, so for the last few weeks I've been staying up until I absolutely drop to try to avoid facing up to it. It made me depressed and lose inspiration and joy in everything. I'm still struggling to rope it all back. In these last few weeks I've had some of the worst encounters in the whole 9 years that I've experienced Sleep Paralysis. It's both physically and mentally draining, my life has become a little like Nightmare on Elm street. The lack of sleep is making me depressed and not helping my general paranoia of the night. 

I'm trying to push through, the last few nights have been a little better. I hope this cycle is coming to an end. It'll be back, no doubt, but some rest in the meantime will be welcomed. 

On the other hand, I've tried to power through and work on writing and drawing again. The lack of inspiration is a big issue still and it makes me feel that even when I do try to draw or write it never quite comes out the way I like. But it's better than doing nothing at all I suppose.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm hanging in there. Apologies if I don't reply much or seem a little off, I feel pretty exhausted. I'm still lurking though. If you've read this far, thanks for sticking with me <3